Benched

Good luck fellow Mindians.
Unfortunately, I've been benched on this one.
#unblockyourheart

Mindy & BJ Are Friends

When Hulu Comes Along!

A Tale of Two Besties

Dear BJ,

I'm sure you have noted Mindy's interview in the June edition of InStyle magazine:

"And for those holding out hope that she and ex (both in real life and on The Office) Novak will reconcile, well, Kaling is stoking the fire. “I will freely admit: My relationship with B.J. Novak is weird as hell,” she says. “He is not my boyfriend, but he is not exactly my best friend. I guess you could describe our relationship as a ‘romantically charged camaraderie with loud arguments,’ but I don’t think Facebook would accept this as a new status.”  - http://stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com/2015/05/08/mindy-kaling-lands-instyle-june-cover/

Ben, read between the lines. If you're really one of her best friends, then you'll understand why she qualified your relationship this way (for the first time I can remember) in this interview.  

Don't act like you didn't notice. Don't act nonchalant. Don't act like you're not reading this blog right at this very moment (okay, fine, I'll give you a pass on the last one).

You know damn right what you do!

It's not fun to be regularly played out in the media, especially by a friend. No ex wants this recap of their relationship to be told to anyone, forget the national media. 

Why be so calculatingly ambivalent? What are you so afraid of dude? 

Years later, as recently as an interview published this month, you continue to stick to this story ("We never really split up as we were never really together."??!). This story sucks though. And, it's so transparent when you do it. It's like a book with no pictures but also with gibberish for words and gaping holes in it. Literally, giant holes in the book itself into which you can poke your whole head to see right through it. 

You know how refreshing it would be for the new script to go something like this:
"Yes, we shared a relationship and although it didn't work out romantically, she is someone I continue to care about and I value our friendship."

You're too smart to act dumb about this. I also hope you value Mindy enough to acknowledge it, apologize and move on. Your friendship is worth it. She'll forgive you if you do and then you can make up and be besties again.

*"Ben, most people would turn you away, I don't listen to a word they say, They don't see you as I do, I wish they would try to, I'm sure they'd think again,
If they had a friend like Ben."

*Original version available here.

Mother's Day

Blog Over Troubled Water

Dear Mindy,

The Mindy Project was cancelled by Fox. Despite reports that Hulu may step in to continue the series, this is probably unwelcome news. 

You created and have been running an internationally recognized enterprise, garnering the praise and adoration of your still faithful fans, but exposing yourself to a world of scrutiny and critique, and now also to its "derision for disappointed hopes." 

Simultaneously, you have shouldered the responsibility of the livelihoods, careers, and expectations of all the people on your team. This too must be an incredible burden.

You answer not only for these professional considerations, but are also unrelentingly examined about your race-consciousness and related obligations, your appearance, your relationships, lack of relationships, past relationships, your current relations with your past relations, and even your brother.  

However, all of these pale in comparison to the soul-crushing pain of losing the love of your life. It is this quote from you in next month's edition of InStyle Magazine that seems to put things in perspective. 

Kaling's mother, Dr. Swati Chokalingam, an OBG/YN, died on Jan. 30, 2012 after battling pancreatic cancer. That day, the actress was told The Mindy Project had been picked up by Fox, according to The Boston Globe. On the show, Kaling played an OBG/GYN.
"I was very lucky that the show started up at that time so I could just throw myself into it and distract myself," Kaling told InStyle. "But the truth is, even though it's been three years, it still feels like it just happened. I remember the sound of her voice so distinctly."

Outstanding timing Fox - this Sunday is Mother's Day.

Your Mother was your biggest supporter, driving force, and comfort. For all the accolades, wealth or fame you could obtain, your parents' tremendous pride in your accomplishments were likely the most gratifying.

Before your glory on The Office, you were a rookie, with the defiant courage of one who has everything to prove but no record to plague her. Embarking independently on the next phase of your professional journey must have been scary - and fused along with it are your final days with your mother, like fabric from your favorite outfit of all time seared permanently into your flesh from a third-degree burn. It fucking hurts.  

As the dream of your own television show was materializing, you were living a personal nightmare. It's heartbreakingly unfair that you were forced to move on without her, not just with your show, but with the rest of your life. In grappling with your grief, The Mindy Project may have been diversionary with the enormity of the work involved but therein also remained a lingering connection to your Mother. Any new venture, professional or otherwise, would painfully widen the gap between your life now and your life when she was in it. The road ahead would be navigated without the benefit of having discussed it with her already. 

Some part of you must have known that there would be this reckoning, whether the Mindy Project came to its end this past week or years from now - confronting the loneliness from feeling your Mother's absence even more than you did when you lost her. 

I don't know when you took the picture for this cover and whether you already knew the fate of The Mindy Project. You look beautiful.

Sail on Silver Girl. 

Fox Cancels The Mindy Project

The Woman In The Arena