Merry Christmas Mindy & The Rainbow Connection

Dear Mindy,

The busy holiday season got the better of me and it's been a while since I've posted. However, I did not want to close out 2015 without acknowledging you my dear. You've had an incredible year - new home for your show, new book, and... perchance new lovers like no other? 

I realized I initiated this blog in January 2015, although it took me a couple of months to really get it going - and it was about a month after that you blocked me- which was pretty amazing. I didn't cover all the topics I had in mind but I picked up some cool followers and Instagram Mindians along the way. I also choose to believe you may have possibly shouted me out on your show -just let me have this delusion guys. All in all, it was a blast in the past.

Now, on to the future. I am convinced that one day you will star in my epic movie or musical blockbuster of all time. I tell myself that I will wait until the wrap party to drop my secret-blogger past on you but I know that I will not be able to contain myself past the initial casting lunch. This will give you momentary but inconsequential pause about joining my production. Even more fame and fortune will follow. We will eventually co-godparent Franco's adorable bastard twins. It will all be so amazing. 

But I must write it for this to come. Therefore, blogging must give way. It won't be goodbye forever. I may even post from time to time. And if you are ever in need of some noble-hearted rando, just give me a sign - maybe an unblocking?

Remember when you were younger, and for motivation you thought of the awesome peeps you'd befriend once you made it; mine would be you. 

Yours Truly.

What's so amazing

That keeps us stargazing

And what do we think we might see

Someday we'll find it

The rainbow connection

The lovers, the dreamers, and me

The Mystery of Brenda Withers

I wasn't going to go there but really, I can't help it anymore. What more do I have to lose - I've already been shunned. I know Mindy won't appreciate this one bit but I've been wondering about this for a while now. 

Mindy Kaling and Brenda Withers

Mindy fans know how she got her big-break alongside her college best friend, Brenda Withers:

In August 2002, Kaling portrayed Ben Affleck in an off Broadway play called Matt & Ben,^[17] which she co-wrote with her best friend from college, Brenda Withers—who played Matt Damon. The play was named one of Time magazine's "Top Ten Theatrical Events of The Year," was "a surprise hit" at the 2002 New York International Fringe Festival.^[3] Initially, Withers and Kaling had "for their own entertainment, mockingly pretend to be the best friends Matt Damon and Ben Affleck; that pretending spawned “Matt & Ben”, the goofy play that reimagined how Damon and Affleck came to write the movie Good Will Hunting."^[3]  (Wikipedia)

In 2006, Brenda did have a brief guest stint on an episode of The Office, the memorable "Booze Cruise."

As of 2011, they were still tight. Mindy not only discussed her BFF Brenda in her book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), there were pics included of them evidencing their best friendship. Mindy also thanked Brenda in the acknowledgments. 

I'm pretty sure I saw a pic of them at an awards show together back in the day because Mindy had brought Brenda as her guest (maybe the one below?).

Brenda's acting credits on IMDb end after a stint on Law & Order in 2010. In 2011, she was acting in a play and in 2013 and 2015 also. So it doesn't seem Brenda has abandoned acting.

All of this brings me to the obvious - Mindy Kaling and Brenda Withers are no longer best friends. Even if they maintain a pretense at a friendship, or they choose not to comment publicly on the dissolution of their friendship, there is no way they are really best friends anymore. 

More rabid Mindy fans may be outraged by my assertion. But, if you exploded into stardom and had your own network television show which is now continuing for its fourth season on Hulu, and said show featured guest stars all the time, would you not cast your struggling actress BFF on even one episode, forget creating a recurring role?

Yea. Exactly. I rest my case.

I'd love to know what happened between Mindy and Brenda but we'll probably never find out. They seem way too private to expose these vulnerabilities to the media. Even if they're both perfectly fine with things as they are, as an outsider I find it kind of sad. I'm guessing it's not what they envisioned as kids when they shared their dreams of making it some day and it must suck for Brenda to feel left behind, even if Mindy has legit reasons for moving on without her. 

Mindy, is there no room for forgiveness? For making amends? Maybe not. Just wondering. 

UPDATE - I called it!

OMG EVEN BETTER UPDATE (2017)!! - Read my reply to (Mindy's???) comment on this post "Why Mindy Blocked Us On Instagram."

Mother's Day

Blog Over Troubled Water

Dear Mindy,

The Mindy Project was cancelled by Fox. Despite reports that Hulu may step in to continue the series, this is probably unwelcome news. 

You created and have been running an internationally recognized enterprise, garnering the praise and adoration of your still faithful fans, but exposing yourself to a world of scrutiny and critique, and now also to its "derision for disappointed hopes." 

Simultaneously, you have shouldered the responsibility of the livelihoods, careers, and expectations of all the people on your team. This too must be an incredible burden.

You answer not only for these professional considerations, but are also unrelentingly examined about your race-consciousness and related obligations, your appearance, your relationships, lack of relationships, past relationships, your current relations with your past relations, and even your brother.  

However, all of these pale in comparison to the soul-crushing pain of losing the love of your life. It is this quote from you in next month's edition of InStyle Magazine that seems to put things in perspective. 

Kaling's mother, Dr. Swati Chokalingam, an OBG/YN, died on Jan. 30, 2012 after battling pancreatic cancer. That day, the actress was told The Mindy Project had been picked up by Fox, according to The Boston Globe. On the show, Kaling played an OBG/GYN.
"I was very lucky that the show started up at that time so I could just throw myself into it and distract myself," Kaling told InStyle. "But the truth is, even though it's been three years, it still feels like it just happened. I remember the sound of her voice so distinctly."

Outstanding timing Fox - this Sunday is Mother's Day.

Your Mother was your biggest supporter, driving force, and comfort. For all the accolades, wealth or fame you could obtain, your parents' tremendous pride in your accomplishments were likely the most gratifying.

Before your glory on The Office, you were a rookie, with the defiant courage of one who has everything to prove but no record to plague her. Embarking independently on the next phase of your professional journey must have been scary - and fused along with it are your final days with your mother, like fabric from your favorite outfit of all time seared permanently into your flesh from a third-degree burn. It fucking hurts.  

As the dream of your own television show was materializing, you were living a personal nightmare. It's heartbreakingly unfair that you were forced to move on without her, not just with your show, but with the rest of your life. In grappling with your grief, The Mindy Project may have been diversionary with the enormity of the work involved but therein also remained a lingering connection to your Mother. Any new venture, professional or otherwise, would painfully widen the gap between your life now and your life when she was in it. The road ahead would be navigated without the benefit of having discussed it with her already. 

Some part of you must have known that there would be this reckoning, whether the Mindy Project came to its end this past week or years from now - confronting the loneliness from feeling your Mother's absence even more than you did when you lost her. 

I don't know when you took the picture for this cover and whether you already knew the fate of The Mindy Project. You look beautiful.

Sail on Silver Girl. 

Fox Cancels The Mindy Project

The Woman In The Arena 

Vera Don't Need This $#*%!

So, right when we were planning the launch of our next Eligible Bachelors, including a hot doctor no less! - we unceremoniously discovered this:

Yes friends - the unthinkable! WE GOT INSTAGRAM BLOCKED BY @MINDYKALING !!!

At first we were like this: 

BUT THEN we were like this: 

The realization hit - is it not better to be scorned by one's beloved than to waste away in their ignorance of your very existence?!

Leading Lady & the Ex-Factor

I love this American Express commercial starring Mindy:



Remember Mindy, when you got to Hollywood and they said, maybe you should play the best friend or the sidekick, and you thought, "Why can't I be the star? Am I not good enough? ... not pretty enough?"

That's what comes to mind when your ex-boyfriend, with whom you continue to maintain a friendship, B.J. Novak, speaks about your relationship past (while reflecting on your counterparts, Kelly Kapoor and Ryan, on The Office): 

"Says Novak, 'No one, including us, ever really knew, ‘Is this dating? Is this not dating?’ We were never really dating, we were never really not dating. We didn’t know. No one knew.'"

"'I would say it was a great and terrible chemistry, and it reflected what we were like in real life,' Novak said. 'No one ever knew if we were together or not, including us. We weren't always on the same page on a given day or a given hour. We fought a lot. We were each other's best friends. We were inseparable and not talking to each other, often on the same day. And people didn't know, if she was gone, they would ask me where she was, and vice versa. We were like E.T. and Elliott a little bit.'"*

*For the record, has B.J. Novak watched E.T.? This sounds nothing like E.T. and Elliott's relationship!

This begs the question Mindy... 

Listen girl, we know you love him, and we get that he loves you too, as a good friend... 

but the love you deserve isn't one which begrudgingly accepts your affections, filled with moonlight kisses that seem to cool in the warmth of the sun, creeping in this petty pace from day to day as it defers hugs and shared carrot cake from the Soho House:

The only bike-bound love I hope for you is this:

Even better this:

You deserve in love what you demanded in your career - to not settle for less than being the Leading Lady.

Ice Cream Castles in the Air: One Single Gal Hopes for Prince Charming

Vera Mindy Chokalingam was born on June 24, 1979, in Cambridge, Massachusetts, to Avu, an architect (the designated rom-com profession of the "handsome, charming, successful man"* and psuedo career of George Costanza) and Dr. Swati Chokalingam (an accomplished ob/gyn, possibly the female Dr. Huxtable**).

*as noted by Mindy in her New York Times best-seller, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
** beloved 80's/pre-rapey-Cosby association 

*Not actually Mindy but as precious as she must have been.

A precocious child with a dark chocolate Punky Brewster face, Mindy shunned strangers after being scared shitless by Kimberly's kidnapping and the unrelated but also traumatizing Bicycle Man on Different Strokes. 

*Mindy childhood collage of happiness and dreams. Pics owned by Mindy's parents.

Ever the eternal optimist, Mindy dreamed of growing out her hair, picking out her own clothes and falling in love with an older college boy. Devastated by Sandy's death on Growing Pains, Mindy took solace in comedy. 

Comedy meant more than a good laugh. 
Comedy meant freedom - the night when she could finally stay up past curfew to watch SNL as it aired live from New York City and not in reruns on Comedy Central. Ironically, now she's too happening to bother. Shame on them for not actually getting Mindy to host yet!

Comedy meant friendship - "Wayne's World! Party Time! Excellent! Schwing!"

Comedy meant acceptance - through a powerful amulet she lost in a past life, Mindy cast a spell to become the most popular girl - and that shit worked!  

Rom-Comedy (with a smattering of sci-fi if it involved David Duchovny) meant love. The man of her dreams would make her feel like "Sally" not faking it for her very own dirty "Harry" (Billy not Clint) and would rival Colin (English to marry; Irish to screw/kill).   

Now, we're on a mission to cast the part of a lifetime. If you think you're the hero of Mindy's love story, comment here or email telling us why. Then we'll feature your profile here on this site. Who knows what may come of it? Would Mindy even take notice? Stranger things have been documented - like everyone knowing the Thriller choreography and actually joining Jennifer Garner in this scene of 13 Going on 30 (yes, that more so than the movie's base premise).

Coming Soon!